Spur Of The Moment or Meant To Be?
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Emotions are a roller coaster. It doesn’t matter who you are, one minute you can feel like you are on top of the world and the next you could be mistaken for someone who has been figuratively (or literally) hit by a truck. It’s not easy to put a finger on why the situations arise as they do. So often you try to figure it out. Why did my mood all of a sudden shift? What made me do that?
Throughout my life I have heard from many people and sources: “Everything happens for a reason”. As a result of hearing this quite routinely, I think about it a great deal. At times I subscribe to the belief, at other times I don’t. I’ve never fully committed to the sentiment, although some seasons of my life have shown more devotion than others. It’s a toss-up really.
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
Allen Saunders
And that’s fine, our brains change a lot through our lives, and as a result, we see things through different lenses and alternate frames of mind. My political affiliations alone have changed several times.
It’s as if every decade my brain makes a pivot.
But the real question that I have is when it comes to the times that little things pop up unexpectedly. For instance, I have moments where I will have a spontaneous memory of my mom pop into my head, and with it brings some kind of emotion. I won’t be actively thinking about my mom or an instance that included her specifically, but it will invite itself into the forefront of my brain without warning.
“Sometimes you imagine that everything could have been different for you, that if only you had gone right one day when you chose to go left, you would be living a life you could never have anticipated. But at other times you think there was no other way forward–that you were always bound to end up exactly where you have.”
Kevin Brockmeier
Or those moments that many of us have where you are doing something mindless and your brain takes you to a place of reflection and realization. Or even the times that you are dozing off and all of a sudden your creative juices start flowing. And you start coming up with some really amazing ideas that you wouldn’t have before.
What inspired this blog topic for me today actually started formulating a few weeks ago. My mother-in-law recently moved to Florida. Because of that we makee plans to fly down to be with her for an extended amount of time over the holidays. In knowing that we will be there for a lengthy period, we start thinking about taking some overnight trips to other areas of the state. It’s not often that we can do so, so we figured we would take the chance and explore a bit.
But then the discussion came to the point where we had to make decisions about what cities, in particular, we wanted to visit. We thought about Disney but didn’t want to take on that cost for just a day visit. There were considerations of Legoland, but we wanted to wait for a time where we had more than one day to explore. Ultimately, we decided on Orlando and Sea World for one mini-trip, and Miami for the other.
Now, as a reference point for you all, I have never had a desire to visit Miami.
When I think of that city, I only ever envision hot weather, very toned people in skimpy swimwear, and….that’s about it. Oh, and Latin dancing. Happy people dancing to Latin music in the streets.
Keep in mind that this is coming from the girl who still thinks that Texas only consists of tumbleweeds. I’ve been there twice with no tumbleweed sighting, yet that’s still how I envision it.
“Life calls the tune, we dance.”
John Galsworthy
So anyway, we chose Miami as one of our destinations. It wasn’t really to check the location of any list, and it wasn’t really a “want” as much of a “let’s take advantage of this opportunity and see more of the world than we have.”
Even leading up to the day before we left I considered canceling the trip. I wanted to go see something new, I just really didn’t think I would enjoy it and it would be a waste of money.
All of this would typically steer somebody in the direction of not wasting the money and just calling it off, right? I would literally give that advice to someone if they told me this story. It just sounds appropriate, does it not?
But we got up and we went. After stopping at Target, because it was the day after Christmas and well, clearance.
And if I could sum up my experience in Miami in one, very succinct, statement?
It was wonderful.
“Irony is Fate’s most common figure of speech.”
Trevanian
When we first arrived we went to get lunch and then explored the downtown. First of all – THERE WERE VERY HAPPY PEOPLE DANCING TO LATIN MUSIC IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OUTDOOR MALL!
Just like I had always envisioned!!!!
And it was just as joyful to see as what I had thought it would be. I even recorded a video of them, since they exuded happiness.
And then there were exotic birds just hanging out on a man’s shoulders. And amazing cotton candy creations. There was music, great food, sunshine, beautiful water.
It was not what I was expecting.
“What’s meant to be will always find a way”
Trisha Yearwood
But then the next day, life threw us a parenting curveball. Our children were being brats, and we last minute ditched our plans of a bay cruise along Millionaire’s Row. Instead, we got in the car and drove to the other side of Miami without a real set agenda. We started by gawking at the giant boats that people owned. Then we took a video of some gorgeous homes (I later found out we drove past the homes of many celebrities). We started coming up on the city’s famous beaches. After which we ended up stopping to see and actually chose to go to a dog beach, which was such a great choice.
Who doesn’t love to see happy dogs running around?
Anyway, I took my daughter down to the ocean water and we put our toes in. It was cold, so we ran back up and watched the dogs and she looked for seashells. Then we went back down again. After our feet got wet by a wave, she was ready to go back up. But I grabbed her around the waist and swung her back towards the water, saying “No! You can’t leave!” She started laughing and then it became a game. One where she would pretend to try to escape and I would hold her tighter. As we did this, we got more and more covered by the water coming up with the waves, and this caused the giggles (from both of us) to rise in frequency and volume. She started screaming out with every wave: “I love this beach!!!”
“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be…”
John Lennon
In the end, we were completely soaked – me up to my knees and her a little higher. But I felt so much emotion from that 10 minutes in the waves with my little girl. I got into the car and told my husband that this was going to be one of those memories that I carry with me forever.
And that got me thinking, was this really a random occurrence? Or was this done by a higher power? All signs had pointed to me not even visiting this city, and it was kind of crazy that I even went through with it. But in the end, I have a collection of great memories and left feeling a new air of happiness that I didn’t when we arrived.
“Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them. I’m beginning to think that maybe great, epic romances don’t just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”
Marissa Meyer
What was pushing me to go?
Why did we end up there?
Was it destiny to experience this?
Did it happen for a reason?
Was it something that was spur of the moment or meant to be?
It went from not really feeling the journey to already making plans to go back.
On the flip side, what if I had cancelled the trip? What if we went somewhere else instead?
Additionally, what if I am missing out on other great experiences just because I discount them prematurely? I can tick off several places that I don’t have a strong desire to visit, just like I did with Miami.
What if I am actually missing out on some great things because of it?
“You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.”
Goldie Hawn
To circle this back to what I previously mentioned, what if we are given exactly what we need when we need it? As in it is not a spur of the moment gift, but something that was always planned out, without our knowledge. Many religious followers already do have affiliations with this sentiment, and maybe more need to subscribe to it. It’s an interesting concept to think about.
Because what if the memories of my mom, and the emotions attributed to it, come for a reason? Perhaps it’s a higher power reminding me of something I need to know, either right then at that moment or in the future.
“Coincidences mean you’re on the right path.”
Simon Van Booy
What about those times that you let your mind wander and you venture into an area of reflection? Is that God telling us that we need to re-analyze some things, or think through something in a more detailed manner?
Even more, what about the times at night when we get those random ideas? Is it because we aren’t allowing ourselves the ability to think big like that during the day?
What would happen if we stopped and allowed life to unfold like that? If we listened to that inner voice more, or that internal tug that we just can’t place but is there?
How would things be if we did?
Are we seeing these things as a spur of the moment, when really they are actually meant to be?
“Do you ever wonder why things have to turn out the way they do?”
Nicholas Sparks
All in all, I can say that my heart feels so full after that mini trip and that incredibly heartwarming bonding experience with my daughter.
I can also say that my mother’s memory is very much alive within me and that I am appreciative of the random memories that come and allow me to keep that image fresh and present.
When I let my mind succumb to a drowsy state and take down the barriers and guards that are present during the day, I find my brain rewarding me and my work. The ideas that formulate are beneficial to many different aspects of my life.
As a result of it all, my mental health is in a better place. It’s not the cure-all to my anxiety and OCD, but it helps me to level up a little bit. What I can say though is that the moment I had at the beach with my daughter helped to quell the bad parent thoughts that I have had in my head the past few days due to attitude conflicts.
And that feeling was the icing on the already amazing cake. That spur of the moment, meant to be cake.
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