How To Be Strong When You Don’t Want To Be
Kristyn Meyer is on a journey to make herself the best human that she can be. These posts are a reflection of that. She welcomes your support via reading and through commissioned affiliate links within her posts! To stay up to date on all of her shenanigans, please subscribe to her email list! (psst…there’s a free gift involved)
“Fake it until you make it”
We have all heard that throughout our lives.
But have you actually listened to it?
I personally don’t take it as a negative piece of advice. I see it as a mindset to have to get yourself through times that are hard.
At times we do not have all the answers, or the complete skillset, or the experience. But are we going to get them by doing nothing at all? The only way that we are going to rise above the issue is by pushing through while putting in the work.
Literally, one foot in front of the other.
I think about this when it comes to the times that I am entering an area outside of my comfort zone. My anxiety is high, I’m looking for any excuse to get out of it, I’m irritable and short-tempered.
The last thing that I am feeling is strong. Nothing in me is feeling strong at that point. More so lost, dumb, scared, frantic, a bit annoyed. All of this among many other emotions. But strong? That is not one of them.
So what do you do to “fake it until you make it”? What things can you implement to get yourself through the experience in one piece and without coming across as a complete mess?
How To Be Strong When You Don’t Want To Be
Write a list of things that are great about yourself to get your positivity back up. This may not be a giant boost that will get you back to your normal level, but any rise is better than none in this situation. When you focus on the great attributes that you have on a daily basis, it helps you to not put so much stake on the distressed and overwhelmingly negative feelings that you are feeling currently. You will see that 9/10 days you rock at life, but that you rock during those days because you pushed yourself through on the hard days, much like the day you are currently in.
“The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.”
Richard L. Evans
Read positive affirmations to pump yourself up. Sometimes reading quotes from others helps to lift your spirits. I personally keep a Pinterest board of positive quotes that I can turn to when I am struggling to feel strong. Even though the authors did not write these quotes with me personally in mind, it often feels like some of them are written just for me. I can place myself into the quote. More often than not I am about to calm my nerves and move forward in a better place. And of course, you can always get lots of positive affirmations from my new book. 😉
“Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.”
Dalai Lama
“It will be done in 10 minutes”, or 20 minutes, or a day. I actually got this from my husband. When I was interviewing for jobs I would get so incredibly nervous and my anxiety would be through the roof. He would always tell me to continually remind myself that in just “x” amount of time it would be all over with and I would be back to my regularly scheduled life. I wasn’t going to feel like this forever, it is just happening because I’m doing something that is out of the ordinary and that I’m not comfortable with.
It sounds silly, but it does work. I would come out of the interview feeling like a million bucks because a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I got through another experience outside of my comfort zone. As you’re pushing through the uncomfortableness of the situation, remind yourself that the situation is living on borrowed time. The feeling will only be around for a short period longer.
“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Ignore yourself and tune out every thought in your head. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy because all of the thoughts are going through our mind and we feel the need to entertain every one of them. It’s just like how you can block annoying people who text your phone. Hit the internal block button and tune out every thought that comes into your brain. Act as if it is just a normal day and forge on full speed like nothing different is coming your way.
You can compare it to the times you have had to take a medication that was especially disgusting. When you plug your nose and get it over with – doing your best to ignore the taste. You just do it, you go through the motions to get to the end goal. Be risky with your emotions by pushing them away and acting like they don’t matter and you will get through a period of low strength with minimal pain.
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”
Napoleon Hill
Reward yourself with an if/then scenario. I did this allllll the time in college with exams. I needed to study but I didn’t want to. But I was also terrified of getting bad grades, so I wanted to study. Yet there was a part of my brain that wanted to act like life was just normal and I didn’t have exams to think about. Welcome to my brain. So I started rewarding myself for focusing. If I put in a solid hour of hardcore studying, I could devote an hour to watching a TV show and ignore all other obligations and life events. I rocked my exams AND binge-watched a lot of series during my college life with this trick.
“Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. That’s success.”
Zig Ziglar
All of these permitted me to “fake it until I made it”. It helped me to come across like I was cool, calm, and serene when more often I was losing my shit internally. Very strategic tools allowed me to get through difficult situations with the image of strength externally, which in turn actually helped me to build strength internally by pushing me out of my comfort zone and not retreating back in.
Have you tried any of these before? Are there others techniques that work for you?
Want my new book? Order through this link after entering your email address and you will get my free workbook/coloring book with purchase!
