Second Chances In Life Shouldn’t Be Taken Lightly
Kristyn Meyer is on a journey to make herself the best human that she can be. These posts are a reflection of that. She welcomes your support via reading and through commissioned affiliate links within her posts! To stay up to date on all of her shenanigans, please subscribe to her email list! (psst…there’s a free gift involved)
When my daughter was born (almost six years ago), I got nine weeks of maternity leave. That is a very standard amount, even more than most get actually. And up front, it sounded like a great and ample opportunity to get to know my new child and bond with her. In the end though, it just wasn’t enough time. I was a mess, stressed out, anxious – the whole nine yards. She still wasn’t sleeping well, I had a breastfeeding infection that I had to spend time recovering from, and we weren’t established in a good routine yet.
I swore I would do it differently the next time.
When my son was born I got six months of maternity leave. I definitely did it differently. All the plans were set out in advance as to how I would enjoy my time off with my baby. However, yet again, it was a blur. Between the birth, gallbladder removal, having my grandson to care for part time in addition to my two littles, taking in a teen unexpectedly and having my adult child in the home, I felt like I didn’t get to fully devote my attention to my baby.
Different, but not what I envisioned. Not what I wanted.
I had a second chance, but I didn’t make the most of it.
For the first five years of my daughter’s life, I was a mom who worked outside the home. I actually quit that job one month before she started school. Up until then she had been in daycare and preschool full time while I worked. I hated that I lost so much time with her and I wanted so badly to do it differently with my son. What I regret with her isn’t something I can get back, but I feel that I can do it differently with him.
So I quit my job.
I had one month with her until she was off, starting her public education life. During that month I wished more than anything that I could have a second chance with her. More time to just be with her. The time off made me realize what I had missed out on. When working outside the home, I was always exhausted at the end of the day. Both physically and mentally. It took everything in me to get through the evening to bedtime. Many nights I would pass out on the couch with her in the crook of my arm, too tired to even make it upstairs to my bedroom.
I didn’t have ample opportunities to teach her things like fun songs or the alphabet. We didn’t get to do fun activities like crafts and baking like I always dreamed that I would.
I felt like I had that one month with her to try to make up for all the lost time. And obviously, it just wasn’t enough to do that.
At the end of the month, I was so sad at the realization that I had lost out on so much of this little girls youngest years. I thought back to all the times that she would ask such random questions while we were getting ready in the mornings and I would be in such a rush that I would snap at her instead of answering her.
Also remembering all the evenings and weekends where I would try to fit in the normal parental activities like story time at the bookstore and trips to the library, but then would come home and spend the second half of the weekend cleaning so that the house wasn’t trashed, instead of spending time with her.
The constant struggle that I had between work and life was very real. I couldn’t be 100% in both places. The constant pull between both was unbearable, and one always fell short. More often than not, it was my little girl who got the short end of the stick. She got the tired, cranky, snippy mother. Work got the energetic, chipper (fake at times), attentive employee.
It wasn’t fair.
I struggled with this, and cried so many tears over having ruined my only chance at bonding during those formative years. It’s during those years that they want to be around you. You are their best friend. Any time you spend with them is the best time of their day. You suggesting an activity to do is the epitome of fun.
The teen years don’t have that. Even the later childhood years don’t as much. It’s the little kid years, the years of snuggling and reading books. The time devoted to learning ABC’s and witnessing them trying out new words. It’s the only period of time in their life where Mommy’s kiss will make their injuries fade away.
And I had lost it. I had thrown away all the opportunities that were given to me in the past. I was never going to get that time back.
But you know what happened?
Coronavirus happened.
Quarantine happened.
Second chances in life happened.
Because of it all, I am here – day in and day out – with my baby girl. I am teaching her. We are doing crafts. Baking happens much more frequently. I am her go to for everything she needs during the day. She doesn’t rely on a teacher or a daycare worker. She comes to me.
We play games. We read books. I’ve helped teach her to read.
I’ve healed countless injuries. She snuggles with me endlessly. We’ve laughed at silly things more times than I can count.
We go on the swings. We take walks. She tells me all about what happened on her favorite TV show.
I answer all of the questions that she has, without feeling rushed or annoyed (most of the time, because they are quite plentiful).
What I have been given is a gift. The gift of a second chance.
It’s not often that we have blessings like these. And although the circumstances surrounding it are bleak, the center of it all is a true blessing.
This baby girl should have had all of me when she didn’t. But now we have been afforded an additional opportunity. And I am not taking it for granted this time around. What I am doing is acknowledging my good fortune, and that I am able to take advantage of this with my family being in good health and being provided for. Our situation is one of the better ones, and for that I am truly thankful. This additional time with my baby gives my heart the space to breathe. I can make up for lost time. I can be the mom to her that I wanted to be then.
And I thank God for that.
Be safe, be healthy, take time to appreciate the little things. And don’t forego any second chances in life that you might encounter.
Comments
I am glad you got a second chance. It’s always awesome when that happens. I like having my kids home but I admit, I miss my quiet time!
I try and make sure I make the most of every single day of my life. Even if some days I have nothing going on, I catch up on some sleep if I haven’t been getting enough 😉
The second chances are precious goods that are taken for granted and one understands how much they are worth only after having fought so much to have them.
The second possibilities are precious goods that are taken for granted and you can understand their value only when you fight hard to get them.
Sometimes it’s so difficult to go to sleep with a baby not just because of their sleeping routine but because I tend to get worried if my daughter wake up in the middle of the night and I’m so sleep that I can’t help her. That’s just me I don’t know.
This is a beautiful mindset to have during these times. It is a gift that you have these moments together and you are healthy and happy! Thanks for sharing!!
we should always have the full of our life…. Getting second chance is a big gift coz not everyone is able to have it… so therefore it is necessary to to take it seriously…. amazing post….
oh wow!!! What an amazing story, thanks a lot for sharing it with us. I feel the same way, this quarantine as bad as it is gave me a second chance at life and I am grabbing it.
Wow! What a beautiful story of silver lining amidst this pandemic. There’s always something to be grateful for.
What a great way to turn quarantine into a positive experience. And yes, you lost that time, but you are blessed, because she is still so young. Imagine coming to this realization when your kids are 13 or 18?!?!? You have from this day forward and I can hear your heart screaming that you aren’t going to lose another moment with them. Good for you!!!! ?
While the current situation SUCKS in so many ways, there are also some great silver linings to focus on as well! My husband is still working (his work is considered essential) but we’re really enjoying having the weekends together with no other commitments to worry about. It has been some great time to just relax and connect.
being given a second chance is amazing!!! its’ so hard right now so this is such grace!!!
Im really that you had to go through this. Please start forgiving yourself. You can never go back to those times again. What you have is now. After the pandemic, for sure that you will never waste the chance again. As long as we live, there is hope. Thank you for sharing this insightful advice.
Like Britt above said, I’m trying to look on the bright side right now. Although stressful, I’m still working. And my husband is able to work from home, so it helps that we both still have our incomes.
I love the fact that you got a second chance and yes I miss my quiet time.
Thank you for sharing your story, it is really inspiring.
Awww, this was such a sweet story from beginning to end 🙂
You’re lucky to get a second chance, it’s gift from God and shouldn’t be wasted.
I absolutely agree with this post, I think we should all see the aftermath of our current situation a second chance in lite.
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Awww this is so touching, I could relate when my kids are still babies and toddlers. Let’s savor every chance that this crisis is giving us now.
I don’t believe in 2nd chances but I believe that everyday could be better than the last.
That’s awesome. Second chances are beautiful and we all need them!
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