Forgiveness Is More Than Saying Sorry
Kristyn Meyer is on a journey to make herself the best human that she can be. These posts are a reflection of that. She welcomes your support via reading and through commissioned affiliate links within her posts! As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. To stay up to date on all of her shenanigans, please subscribe to her email list! (psst…there’s a free gift involved)
Did that cue Anna Faris’ song from “Just Friends”?
Because that’s what I was going for.
I actually just wanted to use the title because of what I recently came to terms with. You know how sometimes a message comes to you during the times that you need it most? That’s what happened to me this weekend.
I’ve not made any secret about the struggles that I have had in the relationship with my father. Things have not been easy for our family since my mother passed away. And I think every relationship took a hit as a result of losing her. Unfortunately, the one between my dad and I was one of the ones hit the hardest.
For years, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I read books, went to therapy, took medication, prayed. Practicing radical acceptance worked for a while but there were always moments where it all came tumbling back. The memories that we had, the love that I didn’t have anymore.
I just missed my dad. And there was no way to get past it.
And thankfully, I have him back.
Months ago I took one more leap, and I landed where I had hoped.
One text lead to several. And several lead to meeting in person. Meeting in person lead to what I wanted most in the world – a hug. From my dad.
For so long I had worried about how I would approach this opportunity. Would I push it away? What would I tell my children? What if I get hurt again?
As it turns out, I never needed to worry about any of it. Everything has a way of falling into place. Explaining to my daughter was easier than I had thought. I welcomed him back with excitement.
We both agreed to leave the past in the past.
Yet, what sounds good on paper doesn’t always pan out like you want it to. Those memories from before are strong, and it’s hard to keep them suppressed all the time. Although I tried to keep them buried, they were finding their way back to me from time to time.
Coincidentally, this Sunday in church the message was about what I needed most. It was about forgiveness. The pastor spoke about how God forgives us without condition. We do not need to express our apologies to him, he forgives us without them. If we don’t apologize, he doesn’t hold it against us. He loves us regardless of what baggage we carry. Our entire situation is accepted in his eyes.
And my dad’s entire situation is accepted in mine. And in my heart.
I don’t need an apology. Whatever happened before is just that, it happened before. Now is what is important. Now he is here. And I love him. And I missed him more than words can express.
