I Want To Change, But Also I Don’t.
Kristyn Meyer is on a journey to make herself the best human that she can be. These posts are a reflection of that. She welcomes your support via reading and through commissioned affiliate links within her posts! To stay up to date on all of her shenanigans, please subscribe to her email list! (psst…there’s a free gift involved)
I recently gave a review of Gary John Bishop‘s book, Unf*ck Yourself.
In summary, I thought it was great! I found it to be a very interesting read that kept my attention and brought my thoughts into perspective. And it was written in such a different way than other motivational books, so it captivated me throughout.
One thing he talked about at length, that has stuck with me since finishing the book, was what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do when it comes to reaching your goals.
Before you can say that to yourself honestly, you must first ask yourself the question “Am I willing?” That question demands an answer. It can’t just be left there in the nothingness of the universe. Am I willing? It pulls for a response. Am I willing? Its power is irresistible; I cannot escape its press for truth.
Am I willing to go to the gym?
Am I willing to work on that project I’ve been putting off?
Am I willing to face my social fears?
Am I willing to ask for a raise or quit this shi–y job?
In short, are you willing to stop living the life you have and start living the life you’re after? It ALL begins with the emergence of willingness, that liquid, constantly expanding and contracting state where life springs and cedes—and all of it is within you at the flick of a linguistic switch.
Gary John Bishop
Because really, nobody wants to give up everything they love to reach their goals. Even if the goal is amazing, you don’t want to go without the things that have made you happy for so long.
Lately, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this line of thinking. You might remember that I mentioned in my weekly chat a few weeks ago that I am unwilling to give up pizza.
And I was being 100% serious about that. It will never happen. I want to change, but not like that.
Even though I have a desire to lose weight and be in a healthier body, I refuse to go without having pizza in my life.
However, what I AM willing to do is reduce the amount of pizza that I partake in. Having pizza once a week or once every other week? That is doable, and something I am completely willing to take on. Having pizza never or a few times a year?
No thank you.
In addition to pizza, there are other things that I am willing and unwilling to do to meet my goals and achieve my dreams.
I am WILLING to exercise at least four days a week. But I am UNWILLING to exercise seven days a week for several hours at a time.
I am UNWILLING to live in a dirty house, but I am WILLING to give up some control over that to have more time with my family.
Also, I am WILLING to go the extra mile to build my business by carving time out during the day. But, I am UNWILLING to have the television raise my kids or to go without appropriate rest for myself and my body in order to build it.
Additionally, I am UNWILLING to focus my life around only my family and not devote time to just myself. But I am WILLING to schedule self-care time around my family’s needs.
I am WILLING to learn what is needed to get to the level I want to be in life. I am UNWILLING to pay a lot of money on it.
Hello, student loans on three degrees that I am NOT USING!
I am UNWILLING to forego certain elements in my life (my home, travel) but I am WILLING to forego others (clothes, material items, extra spending)
“On some occasions, you have to realize that the game has changed (sometimes dramatically so) and you need to pivot. Deal with your reality.”
Gary John Bishop
Finally, I am WILLING to be adaptable to life’s continuous curveballs. But I am UNWILLING to place my dreams on the backburner.
I want to change, and I am comfortable doing it with these things.
“You have the life you’re willing to put up with.”
Gary John Bishop
When you think about YOUR future, what are the main things that you hope to achieve? For example, would you like to be at a certain income level? Do you want to travel? How do you want to live on a daily basis?
What do you need to do to get there?
And what are you willing to do to get to that place?
More importantly, what are not willing to do?
“Think about this: your thoughts (and the resulting feelings) are not always aligned with what is in the best interests of your life, your health, your finances, or your potential.”
Gary John Bishop
Think about it. Truthfully, it is completely unnecessary to give up the things that make you happy, no matter how trivial they are. I am unwilling to give up pizza, but I would also add coffee to that list. Additionally, I will not turn down a midday nap on a particularly draining day. Honestly, I don’t care if I give up uninterrupted work time to take it. I refuse to go without it if it’s what my mind, body, and soul needs. As it is, there are certain things that I put in the happiness column of my life and I am not willing to sever ties with them.
What about you? I want to change in these ways, how do you want to?
“Your future is not the answer to your present.”
Gary John Bishop
