How Do You Determine Your Self-Worth?
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So how exactly is self-worth determined?
Short answer? By you.
YOU determine your self-worth, also known as your self-esteem.
How, you ask?
Because YOU are the one who places value on different aspects of life. YOU determine what areas are of importance, therefore YOU make the decision as to whether or not your strengths are items of value or not.
Do you follow me?
To break it down, the definition of self-esteem and self-worth is confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. (per the Google)
When you think of things that are valuable in everyday life, do they overlap with the strengths that you possess? If so, how do you determine what those things are? What makes them something of value to you?
And if they don’t overlap…well, that’s a different conversation for another day. 😉
There are so many areas that people place value on. Some have their sights and minds focused on looks or body image. Others on material items or financial status. And for many, the value of themselves and others is often based on intelligence.
People who base their worth on intelligence often pride themselves on their good grades, wonderful study habits, and powerful test scores. And this is absolutely fine.
It is absolutely fine unless that same person finds themself in a room full of genius-level people and suddenly feels less than.
In that instance, even though just five minutes earlier you felt that you possessed a high intellectual capability, now you may feel like a fraud due to being surrounded by those with a higher level of intelligence. You may start to think that you really weren’t all that smart to begin with, or that you should have worked harder than what you did all those years. Thoughts like: “clearly I could have been even smarter if I had just worked harder,” may penetrate your mind.
And why?
All because you found yourself in a room with people who knew more about certain things than what you did and you began comparing yourself to them.
This is just not acceptable. That is not positive self-esteem. It is situational low self-esteem, where you feel respect towards yourself in something until you are confronted with situations that challenge what you determine to be your strengths.
You respected yourself for your high intellect until you were around those who appeared smarter than you. At that juncture, you started to spiral into feeling down about your self-worth and importance.
Not good.
So let’s look closer at the situation.
Maybe that room that you were in was full of neuroscientists. Those neuroscientists had gone to school for that specific subject for many years. They eat, breathe, and sleep neuroscience.
But you? You went to school for business. And in your field, you excel. You can direct a company that is on the brink of failure in the direction of great profit.
The neuroscientists? They can’t do that.
But you can.
Your intelligence is business-focused. Theirs is neuroscience. Both of you are rockstars at what you do. They are not better than you because their knowledge is in a different subject, just like you are not better than them.
One needs to be confident in what they do possess, and also in their ability to know their chosen subject or field of study. Approaching those educated differently than you with a sense of intimidation shows how fragile our self-esteem can truly be.
But the bottom line is that we can not let outside sources determine our worth. We know our own value internally, and we need not waver in it. That room of neuroscientists does not get to dictate your self-esteem. Not one person in this world is perfect at any one thing.
Not one single person.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Walking into a room where there are people who possess a higher IQ than what you do does not make you less than. It gives you the ability to gain different perspectives in different areas of life. You have more opportunities to learn about their chosen subjects, or even learn more about things that you already know.
Because we don’t know everything. We are all works in progress.
And when you open your mouth to talk, it is almost a guarantee that you will have the knowledge inside of you to teach them a thing or two as well. Because even with their high IQ’s and their impressive backgrounds, they also do not know everything. And just like you are interested in learning about different subjects, so are they.
So get out there and strike up the conversation. When they ask you what you do for a living, stand tall and tell them. Be proud of what you do, and let the confidence shine through.
Because you know what?
By exuding confidence and selling yourself, your ability, and your knowledge, it’s quite likely to resonate with them and others. And as a result, in the event that one of those neuroscientists finds themselves in a business jam with one of their practices, they will turn to someone who they think is an expert in the field. And from the conversation they had with you, they will reach first to you for help. Because you were confident in your abilities and yourself, which makes them confident in you as well.
In the end, we have to determine our self-worth based on our own internal values and items of importance. As hard as it is, we need to continually remind ourselves that our self-esteem is not dictated by individual situations. We make the decisions when it comes to us. The only voice that matters in the end, as it relates to our worthiness, is within our own selves. And that needs to be remembered.
