Boosting Your Confidence When It Is Declining

Boosting Your Confidence When It Is Declining

Kristyn Meyer is on a journey to make herself the best human that she can be. These posts are a reflection of that. She welcomes your support via reading and through commissioned affiliate links within her posts! To stay up to date on all of her shenanigans, please subscribe to her email list! (psst…there’s a free gift involved)

For all the days that I feel on top of the world, I definitely have my fair share of days that I feel just as low as the dirt on the ground.

Thankfully, I have many more good days than bad. In the past that was not the case. Then I had far more bad days than good. With a lot of hard work I have been able to turn that around, but it’s been a struggle. Even with maximum effort being devoted to boosting my confidence.

But when you come across the odd day that sends you spiraling back down to places that you hate to be, what do you do?

I’ve struggled with that for quite some time. I want to be able to take a bad moment and move past it. What I hate is when a bad moment becomes a bad day, which becomes a bad few days or even a bad week.

Nobody has time to have a bad week.

Boosting your confidence needs to take priority during these moments.

Recently I was going back and forth with someone that I consider to be a friend. I reached out to ask her advice on something for my blog and we ended up messaging back and forth for a bit. At the end I said that I would love to treat her to lunch to pick her brain a bit more.

Her response? She would love to….for $75 an hour. She told me that she gets asked so often that she offers it as a service.

I felt slapped across the face. I wasn’t looking for business coaching. At least I didn’t think that I was. I was looking to further connect like we had been – which I hadn’t seen as coaching. Outside of that, I truly had no clue that it was a service she offered. I would never expect her to do something like that for free, even being a friend.

In my head, we were two friends (not close friends, but acquaintances) that were chatting back and forth.

Her idea was different than mine, obviously. And I understood her response, but it did sting.

It made me feel like I was completely less than what I felt I was before. Even though I truly didn’t know she offered it as a service, and if I had I would have never asked for it for free, it still made me feel like dirt. Like I was no longer valuable of the conversation we were having.

And I could feel myself spiraling down into a dark place again over it. Over such a tiny little thing. More than anything, I wanted to avoid that feeling.

I forced myself to think about it from a different perspective.

1. We aren’t close friends, we are more acquaintances.
2. It is a service that she offers, and that service provides advice – much like what I was receiving.
3. A person can’t give things out for free to everyone – even friends – they have to pay the bills.

That helped me to not take it so personally. But I still felt down, like I wasn’t as good as I had been just a short period of time ago.

So I dug in more.

1. This situation doesn’t decrease my value in any way.
2. This is one person. I’m facing something unfavorable by one person, not a whole world of people.
3. I would/will likely have to do the same thing. It’s a part of life.

This helped. I then wanted to boost myself up some more to take the edge off.

So I made a quick list of things I like about myself and my current situation:

1. I am kicking ass in the blogging world.
2. The happiest I have ever been in my life is RIGHT NOW.
3. I am doing amazing at achieving my dreams!

Breaking it down into small little segments really helped me to calm down. I’m trying so hard not to take things personally, it’s been a pitfall of mine for most of my life. I think that everything is directed towards me in a harsh manner, when really it doesn’t involve me at all.

Theme Song of Kristyn:

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain,
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

But really. I’m that person that sees a meme on social media and think it was posted specifically to get my attention. When really it’s that persons Great Aunt Trudy from British Columbia. Nothing to do with me at all. I could see a person post something, and even if I haven’t seen them since I was six years old, I will be going through every memory with them to see if I did something.

It’s a gift.

No, actually, it’s really annoying. I can’t ever just take things in stride. And it kills my confidence level and self-esteem when it happens.

Like I said, I’ve been working on this for a long time and I’m doing much better. But there are always those moments and days where you find yourself in that place. And I want to have things in my toolkit to turn to to avoid that slump. This last time really helped, and I’ll definitely be using the same technique again in the future.

1. Take it from a different perspective.
2. Think about how it actually impacts you.
3. Remind yourself of why you are great and what you have accomplished.
4. Sing “You’re So Vain” Only if you’re Kristyn.

What do you do? Are there specific things that help you get over the hump?